Nearly six months ago, back when I first started this blog (I've been blogging for nearly six months?!) I posted explaining that we had taken Bobby out of child care. This was by mutual agreement with the childminder, as he was too upset when he was there and they could not look after him. We are still unsure as to what happened, as he started off perfectly happy there, but either way it was for the best. It has now been almost half a year since he left, as we decided to give him a rest from it all. I was in my last couple of weeks of university at that point, so my husband booked a few days off to look after him when relatives were unavailable, but I have had him most of the time over the summer holidays. I return to university to do my masters in a couple of weeks and Bobby has been back in child care for a couple of weeks. He seems to be coping better than I am!
My sister in law has looked after him for a couple of days a week, but apart from that I have had him for most of the time over past few months. I am not a great stay at home mum and prefer it when we are out and about, but we really wanted him in child care, even if only for a couple of days a week as he is currently our only child and doesn't seem to know how to act around other kids. The other day, for example, when he was at the childminders, he wanted some of the other kids to pick him up and was gripping on to them. The only problem was that he was doing it with kids smaller than he was! Luckily, the childminder saw the funny side, but we feel that it is important that he is around other children, especially as he gets older.
So he is now back in child care two days a week, with my sister in law looking after him for another two days - I have him for the remaining weekday. This frees me up for university, especially as I am in for more days than last year. I admit it has given me time to get things done around the home, but there is a tangible difference in the house. It is very quiet without my boisterous, slightly bonkers toddler and I don't know what to do with myself. He is settling in very well, luckily and the child minder kindly sends us photo's during the day so that we can see how he is doing. It is great to see him having fun with the other children, especially when they are out and about. But I can't shake the feeling that I am missing out. I am torn between the fact that I want to be with my child (but am no good at staying at home as I feel isolated) and wanting to work.
For next year I will be making the most of the times that I am with him and will try to makes those times fun. It will be a worryingly short time before he starts nursery and school (as this is the route that we are currently going down) and he will be out and about five days a week, and I won't get my daily photo's so that I can see how he is doing. It's a special time when they are young, so I want to have as much fun with him as I can. He is very independent and social and I am glad that he is having fun - but I do miss him during the day. It is true when they say that leaving a child with a child minder is very often more difficult for the parent.